9 months ago,I first heard you.
In a dream that I doubted.
I held you in front of a blocked passage
and was told by others in the dream
“Why do you have this”
“This isn’t yours”
Me being me. I doubted myself.
Months go by and I still hear you
In the winds that are blown
The heart of mine that beats
In the thunder that roars
Then in February I was told again
To hold you in my arms
To play you by the summer solstice
So I asked for your creation
On my birthday you were born
And on my birthday I wept.
That my dream came true
Manifested in this world
My heart has been made
Due to the universe I waited
Patiently and impatiently
As the cards and signs were there.
To hear your heart beat.
To hear your thunder that bellow
But I was not ready.
Much needed to be grown.
The self doubt.
The impose masks that were held onto me
The denial of who I am
Or my potential
Those are blocks
Blocks that became a rod
From the back of my spine to my heart
Telling me I am worthless.
Those blocks were dealt with
For I am the Sacred Flame
I am of love
And of light
It is a long road.
Much needs to be devoured
Much needs to be burned
But strength and faith
I have
It was then. On this solstice
I was ready
I saw you finally
Heard your heart beat for the first time
Not from camera
But my ears
No it is not my heart.
Nor my dreams
It is my drum
She is alive
I sat home and played
Listening to your heart beat along.
My ears the melody
The past melody of what once was
The deer in life
With grace you live
She was your heart once
It was then I knew
You are my heart.
The heart of the Deer that once lived.
The heart of the Source of many names
You are echo in my ears
I promise to honor you as my heart
Honor you as the heart of the deer that once lived
Honor Spirit of multiple names
Honor the living
The dead
The four legged
The crawlers
The Sky above
The earth below
To the heavens.
To the lower realms
To my Spirit
My soul
I honor you as you help me begin again my journey.
And I will honor the thousands before me who have been on this journey
And the thousands more after me.
I will honor and love always.
My Hart